Kiss of Death
by zaetrope
Summary: "My tears couldn't stop falling at my friend's despair. I could predict his tears as he bids a farewell to me." — slight!nalu at the end.


**Warning:** I'm well aware about grammar errors, Lucy's OOCness and stupid plot. And I'm sorry.

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**Kiss of Death**

by **zaetrope**

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I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. Everything happened with a 'bang' and then everything turned silent and empty. It was like someone had put a blindfold in my eyes and forbidden me to see. I couldn't even find myself in that immensity darkness; how is it supposed to find something in the darkness, by the way? It's not like humans have x-ray vision or whatever. And, to be honest, I preferred not to be found.

I could hear the rain fall. Somewhere, I could hear it, drip by drip, maybe not so far as I was thinking. It was falling over something but it didn't touch me. Someone was with me, too. I could feel a human body near mine; and that someone must be… the only one caring for me, in this moment. The cold was embracing me, too. I realized that that someone was holding an umbrella above my head. My vision was blur, so a barely could see. The only thing colored was that beautiful bouquet of red roses above a rock. Not exactly a rock, more like the kind of a… urn. A bit above, craved in a stone, was a picture of a beautiful blonde lady – I recognized her and I felt my being fall apart. I was slowly gaining conscious about my surroundings. I was slowly returning to reality.

I lost her. I lost my precious angel. I realized that hurtful truth faster than I wished. She wasn't here anymore to hold me, to catch me when I'm falling; to warm me. She was gone forever. My precious angel - my precious Mother.

Tears stopped falling from my eyes a long time ago. It was like I was dried; and drained, too. I was just a body. A rag. I was completely empty. Nothing could fill me again; I had lost my will to live. I wasn't worried about that heavy pain in my chest to disappear – I just wanted to go back in time when _we_ were happy; when she was _there_. It was aching really badly, but I didn't mind. I was letting that pain consume me; devour my soul until the bitter end. That pain was feeling good.

"Lucy," someone called behind me; I didn't move. I noticed a long pause then the person landed a hand on my right shoulder. "Let's go home."

Thought that hand was warm, it wasn't the same warmth as _she_ had. The person shook me lightly, and yet, I didn't move nor answered. It was like my feet were glued to the ground. My being was only responding to what _I wanted_, not to what the person behind me wanted me to do.

I felt warmer when the person approached my body. He was holding me and I felt he landed his forehead on top of my head. He was crying. I felt his body shake and a sob from the end of his throat. I still didn't move. I was a rock, there. My feet glued to the ground and my eyes on the picture of my precious angel.

"Please." He sobbed. He started crying louder and I heard my heart breaking again. I wasn't dried anymore; my throat starting hurting and my eyes clouded with water. I was ready to cry again. "Please, Lucy. Let's go home."

That was when I realized I wasn't the only one suffering. My father - the person behind me, the one giving me warmth at that moment - was suffering too. I was just being selfish thinking only about myself.

So a man cries too, huh?

[…]

(weeks later)

I wasn't surprised with the look on my classmates' faces. They were pitying me and I kind of understood that. But I didn't accept it. To be honest, I couldn't look at their pity faces where I could almost listen their thoughts. _Poor Lucy, lost her mother. Poor Lucy. Poor Lucy. Poor Lucy_ –

Early in that morning, after two weeks absent from school, I asked to my teacher if I could get out a moment to refresh my face. The teacher reflected a little – we just started class and I was already asking to get out, I knew it wasn't right. But I just needed to get out before I could flip my table. They should go to hell with their pity faces; I don't need that!

I choose to get out of the campus – the responsible for the entrance didn't say anything, he just let me go. Nobody was at the entrance, so I just took a deep breath and took a seat at the nearest wooden bank I found. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down.

"Poor Lucy." I thought I heard someone said, but I ignored. Maybe it was just my subconscious pranking me.

I noticed a pair of white shoes in front of me; the only thing I could see in that moment. I ignored one more time; maybe I was just seeing things.

The person chuckled. "You're not seeing things, Lucy. _Poor_ Lucy." The voice said again.

I felt offended. "Who are you? Stop calling me 'poor Lucy' when I'm not obviously poor!" I yelled and looked at the person.

He had spiky dark hair and a calm look in his eyes. His expression was also calm and I find that kind of strange. I didn't know that person and yet he was calling me 'poor Lucy' as if he knew everything about me.

"I can hear your questions. It's okay, Lucy Heartfilia. You're just passing by a faze. You're denying what you're feeling." He smiled and approached me a little. "That's okay."

Something was out with this person. He seemed so calm and yet so… I couldn't find the answer when his eyes were staring at me as if they were staring right into my soul. I couldn't read what was crossing his mind; he was so mysterious. And he was still smiling at me.

"Who are you?" I asked, eyeing him.

He straightened and stared at me with amusement. "You really want to know the person who was calling you 'poor'?" he chuckled.

I unified my brows at that answer. He had a point there, but the curiosity was burning inside of me like a volcano. "Of course; and right because of that."

"Dear Lucy," he started and I waited. I was facing his back now; it seemed like he was staring at the sky. "How do you see this world?"

That question caught me out of guard. I didn't have answer for that question, and to be honest, that question was just random. "Why are you asking that?" I questioned, confused.

"I asked because I want to know." He said. There was a long pause when the only thing we could listen was the birds and the wind. "No answer? Oh…" he sounded somewhat disappointed but I didn't say anything. "What are you feeling, Lucy?"

Another question where I was caught out of guard. Honestly, I started to feel scared with that person. He was making weird questions that I didn't have answer for. What was his point in making those questions? What does he want from me?

"It's okay. You don't have to be scared." His smile comforted me and I felt relieved for a moment. "Hey, do you want a coffee? A tea? Let's walk a little, can we?"

And now he was inviting me for a walk, or a coffee, when my class just started and I was there, paying attention to that guy. I knew that, if I return to my class, everybody will pity me and question about how I feel. I don't want them to ask me that. I don't want to answer, either. I don't want to tell them how much my heart aches when I have recollections of my mother. How much I need her in this moment so painful.

"Sure. But let's not take too long, okay?"

He nodded once and landed me his right arm, like a real gentleman. I felt my blood accumulating on my cheeks with his gesture, but I hide my embarrassment when I accepted his arm. I wasn't facing him so he wasn't going to notice I was blushing. Nobody was this gentle with me before and, deep inside me, was a tiny Lucy squealing in delight. However, since I wasn't facing the man I was holding, I saw Natsu coming in our direction. I didn't want him to recognize me, since I was talking with a stranger, so I gazed at the opposite direction as soon as possible. I think he will recognize me, anyway, but I didn't want him to make questions.

"What's wrong?" the stranger asked.

"Nothing. Let's go."

We started walking and I avoided looking back. I knew Natsu recognized me – I'm surprised he didn't call me or run after me. I felt his eyes on my back and that made me shiver. I'm sure he's going to come to me later.

Minutes after, the man took me to a café – it was near my school but I never saw it before. Maybe I was too oblivious to notice that place. The atmosphere inside relaxed me – there was a scent of tea in the air that was familiar to my nostrils. Melissa Honey. I was sure it was that scent. My mom used to make that tea every day, it was her favorite. I felt like she was there with me and we were going to drink tea together. But –

"Let's sit?" the man asked, breaking my line of thoughts.

I only nodded and he guided me to a table near a window. A young lady came and the man ordered a Melissa Honey for him and asked me what I was going to drink. When I heard the name of the tea I bit my lower lip but ended up asking the same as him. It's been a while since I last drank said tea. When the young lady disappeared to the kitchen, the black-haired man gazed at me.

"So, do you like this place?" He had a sincere smile on his lips; it made me feel that he wanted a positive answer from me, for some unknown reason.

I nodded. "It's comfortable and reminds me of my mother. Melissa Honey tea was her favorite." I was smiling genuinely as I had recollections of her smiling.

"Precisely." He said with a mysterious tone and I gazed at him. He had a mysterious look on his face and his expression was hard to decipher. I didn't know why but that kind of startled me. "She's the reason why you're suffering, am I right?"

I was speechless. Who was this person? He never told me his name; and more importantly how he knew _my_ name. First, he showed at me as a really nice person, gentle and maybe worried about me, and now… Now he looked so scary I was about to scream and run out of there.

"I know everything about you, Lucy. The reason of your suffering is your mother. You can't accept she's gone forever. Don't deny it because I know it's true."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't answer to him. He was true. Despite the fact that he looked scary, he was true. I couldn't accept my mother was gone and that was forbidding me to move on. My father looked good, but I… I just wanted to be with her again and forever.

"Sorry. I didn't want to scare you." He said with a lower voice. That confused me, but I was still in shock. "Hey, hey! Don't cry, okay?" I was crying? Since when? I didn't even notice the liquid falling from my eyes.

"I have the perfect solution for you. The best medicine to take away your pain and suffering out of your life forever!" He sounded extremely cheerful; maybe because he made me cry and was feeling guilty about it.

"W-what… is i-it?" I asked lower and cleaned my face. The tears just don't stop falling.

"Your soul." That didn't make me stop crying but got me confused.

"What?"

"Give me your soul and you don't have to feel anything anymore."

… He was joking, right? No, he must be joking. I started laughing; a soft laugh since my tears wouldn't stop falling. I didn't know why I was laughing and crying at the same time – I mean, I _do_ know: I am a mess, my emotions are out of control and I'm feeling so, so ridiculous right now…

"Thanks, you sure know how to cheer on a person…" I said while wiping my tears.

He was confused with my statement. "What are you talking about? I wasn't joking. I was telling the truth."

He looked serious. Like… _really_ telling the truth. At that moment, my tears seemed slowing down and didn't fall as before. My eyes were still a little watery but at least it wasn't like I was a fountain.

"What do you mean? That's impossible."

"It's not. It's possible and the best resolution for all your problems!" The black-haired man looked optimistic and absolutely sure of his words. I couldn't believe simple because it was totally absurd, out of mind and insane. How would someone believe him?

"Do you realize what you're saying?" I asked, angry. I was being fooled, that's it? I should have doubt about his kindness since the beginning. He called me poor – I should have avoided any kind of conversation with this psycho! I slammed the table and rose from my seat. "Excuse me. I need to go." I said and got out of the table, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Can you please believe in me?"

I analyzed his eyes and saw that he was desperate for my belief. What could I do? He was insane and being with him was only going to drive me insane too. I concluded that his emotions were out of control – just like mines were. What should I do? Have mercy of him and say I believe him? What could happen next? I started to feel afraid of him.

"How" I muttered, trying to find the right words to say. If he was saying the truth, how does he do to extract my soul and… This was ridiculous. "How do you do…" but, even so, I asked him.

He let go of my hand. "I simple _take it_ and keep it with me. In a very especial place…"

I noticed the mysterious tone on his voice and I couldn't felt even more scared at that. He was going to extract my soul and – wait, do we really have soul?

"What is a soul?"

"You don't know?" I shook my head. "Don't you even have an idea?" I shook my head again. He smiled. "Do you want to see it?"

I was curious, that was a fact, but… how is he going to show me how a soul is? Was he going to take mine to show me?

He closed one hand on a fist and, seconds after, he opened his hand to show me a sphere glowing. That sphere was no bigger than the size of an eye and was irradiating gold beams. I was amazed at the size and colors of it; and I was pretty sure my eyes were sparkling with interest.

"This is a soul?" I asked, reaching it with a hand. I could feel the warmth of it in my skin; I pleasurable warmth.

"Yes." He didn't allow me to touch as he made it disappear. "That was a soul. I collect them."

"Where do you keep them? They're hot, so I assume you can't keep them in your pockets, right?"

He chuckled at that statement. I returned to my seat as I observed me. I was extremely curious about souls. I had no idea they could have that glow, color, size, shape – and I had no idea I could end up this curious about it. I was in awe.

"I have a especial place for them. Since it's something valuable for me, I don't want someone to have them. Can you imagine what happens if this ends in the wrong hands?"

At that, I understood how much he cares for the souls he already has. So, he was a good person. The idea of extract a soul was still unbelievable, but after what he showed me, _I think I believe him_.

"People ask you to take their souls?"

"Yes. Most of them in the same situation as you: suffering."

"You must have plenty of them, right?"

"I do, but there's always space left for more." He smiled.

Damn, this was incredible. I couldn't doubt about him anymore: he was a good person, ready to help people at any time. Too bad we can't find people like that anymore these days; they became rare, like an endangered species. That was sad, but true.

"So, do you accept?"

I pondered for a while. Why was I still unsure of this? He was going to help me – that damn ache in my heart was going to disappear forever, so what? I could live finally in peace.

"Do I have to pay something?" I asked lowly and he laughed.

"You're talking about money?" I nodded uneasy. "I don't need that. I'm here to help you; your money is yours."

Better for me – I wouldn't need to ask for money to my father. But what was keeping me –

"Just say the words."

I gulped. I was nervous for what?

"Please help me."

The words came out of my mouth without me noticing. Suddenly, I wasn't in the cafeteria anymore. Everything around me was white. I trembled when I noticed I was alone. There was nothing there. I panicked.

Then I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and I turned. It was that man. He was smiling to me and I felt relieved.

"Everything is going to be okay." He said.

Then… Then he kissed me. I gave me the most passionate kiss I have ever felt. It melted me; and I was answer him. I could feel the sparkles between our kiss; the desire he had for me and the desire that was growing within me. I never thought that I would end up kissing a stranger and, deep inside me, my other self – if I really have another one – was laughing at me. Me, kissing a stranger. What a joke. But maybe I needed that – maybe he was trying to prove me that it was okay to suffer and let others know about my suffering. Maybe he wanted to really help me, in the end. The more I rejected the help of someone, the more that proved that I really needed help – and that was what he was showing me.

I no longer felt shattered. I felt relieved; light. That heavy weight I had on my chest was no longer there – I dare to say that I was no longer suffering. Nothing was hurting. I felt as if there was a new light in me; as if a new me had born. I was happy. I needed to thank that man for his precious help.

"Thank you so mu-"

I couldn't find him anywhere. I was alone again. Despite the voice I was hearing somewhere; I couldn't find anyone but me. The voice was calling for someone, but I was searching for my savior, and I couldn't find him. I… I was confused. Everything started to confuse me. I wasn't sure if I was seeing something, to be honest. I don't even know if what I was seeing was me – the only thing I could affirm was –

"LUCY!"

I turned to look at the person who called my name. Natsu was…

"Lucy, can you hear me?!"

What was going on? Why was he so afflicted? He was calling for me as if –

"Lucy! Lucy!"

No. I looked closer and I understand what was going on. I knew at that moment why he looked so desperate to receive an answer from me; from _my body_. From that Lucy that was laying on the ground… lifeless.

I understand it all.

The soul thing. It was everything a lie – a trick.

"Lucy, please, answer me! Lucy!"

_I can't, Natsu_, I answered. I can't because…

"Someone! Please, someone call a doctor!"

_Let me be, Natsu. It's too late. _

My tears couldn't stop falling at my friend's despair. He would soon notice that that body has no longer life. I could predict his tears as he bids a farewell to _me_.

_It will everything be okay, my friend. I'll be fine. Stay fine too, you pinky moron!_

I felt I gentle warmth in my shoulder and immediately recognized that touch.

_Of course._ I smiled at _her_.

_Farewell, precious friends. Father._

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**A/N:** Meh, well, that's it. Too angtsy, weird and... stupid. I don't know. This one-shot crossed various paths: I started this when I wasn't feeling so good with myself so I decided that I needed to pour my feelings into a story. Then when I tried to finish this, I was feeling extremely angry after a situation that angered me - I rarely feel angry, I'm kinda the peace & love type - so this Lucy felt angry too. A funny fact? While re-reading this angry!Lucy, she irritated me so much that I felt even more angry. Weird, huh? But it's true. As for the end, that was when I decided that she should feel pathetic after been tricked by a psycho _shinigami_. She cried for Natsu's tears and for herself. Like "woah, someone actually tricked me when I was feeling like shit. I'm pathetic." Basically, this one-shot is a mix of emotions that I hate and even so I wrote about them. How nice.

Well, this was my first one-shot here. I should feel ashamed for start with the wrong foot. I swear I have pleasant things to share! Honest.

Thank you for reading!


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